


when jon met martin

by transangelic



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Any Pronouns for Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Banter, Fluff, Gratuitous Arguments about Poetry and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Multi, Nonbinary Lesbian Melanie King, Nonbinary Martin Blackwood, Slow Burn, Time Skips, When Harry Met Sally AU, gerry melanie martin bffs, oh and i trans all of their genders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28523943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transangelic/pseuds/transangelic
Summary: Martin sits in his car, waiting. It surely must have been past time for the mystery guy he’s picking up to be here. He’s also not actually sure who he’s actually looking for, the only two descriptors he had gotten in response were “Short” and “Academic”, which, Martin is slowly realizing that that seems to fit so very many different people at this university. He wonders how many people were passed this task before him, if Tim didn’t even know the guy he was suddenly in charge of driving. Martin hopes it’s not because the guy is a dickhead or something, and maybe no one could stand a super long drive with them. (He very much hopes that is not the case.)or,On one fateful road trip, Jon and Martin meet for the first time, fresh out of university. A AU inspired by When Harry Met Sally (1989).
Relationships: Georgie Barker/Melanie King, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Past Martin Blackwood/Tim Stoker
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	1. expectations

**Author's Note:**

> helllooo!!! im so excited to write this as ive had in it in my head for a while! two notes before you read:
> 
> PRONOUNS: the pronouns for mainly jon and melanie and martin occasionally will alternate with the chapters, as i headcanon each of them as nonbinary. jon will mainly use they and she and hy (the neopronoun hy/hym). while martin will use he and they, and melanie... we'll see.. still deciding lol. but ill always have a note saying which characters are gonna use in each chapter so it's a bit less confusing! constructive criticism is very appreciated bc they dont exactly teach you how to write nb characters/alternating pronouns in school :D
> 
> \+ 
> 
> FORMAT: true to the movie, i plan to have a few chapters then have an "cutscene" of a chapter where its one of the interviews like in the movie, and so far i plan to write interviews with: peter and elias, jane prentiss and her worms, and that guy and his bug wife. francois or whatever, yk the dude.
> 
> btw jon uses they/them in this chapter n martin uses he/him!

Martin sits in his car, waiting. It surely must have been past time for the mystery guy he’s picking up to be here. The car is overheating, unsurprising to the amount of use it’s endured. He sits petulantly in the drivers seat, sweat threatening to roll down his freckled face as he looks out the window for what must be the 10th time that minute, and passively remembers a few months back where the heat made him sweat so much his newly dyed hair stained his shoulders blue. (Not a good look at all.) He’s tempted to get out of his car and just wait under a tree or something, but he knows they’ll be looking for his car, or more specifically, his license plate,  _ so _ , he must stay in.

He’s not really sure why he agreed to this. His roommate had guilted him into it, most likely. They always had a habit of throwing his own responsibilities onto Martin. He’s also not actually sure who he’s actually looking for, the only two descriptors he had gotten in response were “Short” and “Academic”, which Martin is slowly realizing that that seems to fit so very many different people at this college. He wonders how many people were passed this task before him, if his roommate didn’t even know the guy he was suddenly in charge of driving. Martin hopes it’s not because the guy is a dickhead or something, and maybe no one could stand a super long drive with them. (He very much hopes that is not the case.)

He looks around again. It’s a nice college, despite the heat making Martin want to just leave whoever this man is behind. Brick walls, set with large, sunlit windows, and a nice lawn for students to hang out on. Despite being (freshly) done with college, something in him still looks at them under a studious eye, like he’s still that same teenager grasping for any sort of acceptance letter from a decent college. Not to say he wasn’t a good student. Money- has always been an issue, so to speak. Anyway, it seems like a nice college. He makes a mental note to ask about the quality of it. 

Martin waits another fifteen minutes or so before he suddenly hears a persistent knocking on his car window. He jumps a bit and turns slightly, and makes direct eye contact with a very tired looking person. They seem to be crouched slightly to stare into his window, hand still raised to knock again before Martin hesitantly rolls down his window. 

“Uh- Hello?” Martin asks, nervously. 

“Are you Martin?” the person asks bluntly. He pronounces his name like Mah-tin. It’s odd. Martin dully notes how pretty they are, and quickly tamps that thought down. Their hazel eyes stare him down as they wait for an answer, long brown hair blowing around in the warm wind. 

“Oh! Ah- Yes. And you?”

“Jon. Can you let me in now?” Jon says annoyedly as Martin briefly gazes at him in confusion, then mentally kicks himself for not realizing earlier. Of course, this is the person he needs to drive. Who else would it be? 

“Of course!” He replies in his default customer service voice, immediately kicking into the Meeting-A-New-Person routine. He reaches over and clicks open the passenger seat door, and Jon succinctly hops in. Martin turns the engine over a few times before setting off for their destination. 

  
“So, I was thinking I drive for a few hours, then we stop at some place to get food, and take any breaks in between if needed? I already know a good place to get food, I mapped out our route last night! Apparently, they have really good french toast...We can switch for driving eventually as well. I’m gonna go in the back for a sec and change my shirt, it was really fucking hot back there.” Martin continues, and looks to Jon, who nods once. 

Martin does as he said and changes his shirt. Climbing back in the car, and feeling just a bit more normal, he starts to ask what Jon is going to London for, or just, have any type of introduction, then notices they have already put on headphones and seem to be very spaced out.  _ Fine _ \- Martin thinks. He can deal with a bit of mindless driving while his company has some alone time. Before giving up, he asks Jon if they’d like to put whatever thing they are listening to, and Jon passively shakes their head. Alright. 

It’s about 30 more minutes until Jon decidedly takes out their headphones and interrupts Martin’s mindless daydreaming as he drives through the highlands. He had been thinking deeply about what his new apartment would look like, how he’d decorate, as well as whether the brochure had said there was a tube station nearby.

He catches Jon staring at him. Martin glances back to the road, expecting them to stop, but he looks back, and nope, still staring.

“What is it? Do I have something on my face? Is there something on the road?” Martin asks, and glances to the side of him- nothing out of the ordinary, just plain forest. 

“Your shirt.” Jon says, stone faced, still looking pointedly at Martin’s chest. 

Martin looks down at his hole-y, old Buffy the Vampire Slayer shirt. It’s just something he grabbed out of his suitcase, definitely meant for pajamas, AKA, no one was ever supposed to see him in it. It’s incredibly dated, with a worn graphic of the character Angel with a 90s style colorful design surrounding his silhouette. 

“Uhh...What about it?”

“I never liked his character. Plus, His,-” Jon waves their hands around, “- character arc, about ‘pure happiness being achieved through sex with Buffy’- always struck me as  _ really fucking stupid _ .”

“Oh.” Martin says, “Well, I always found it romantic.” 

“Maybe it’s just the whole  _ being-ace _ thing, but I really never did. I mean- I- I never really liked Angel anyways. It’s been too long since I watched Buffy to remember  _ why,  _ but still.”

“I always really liked him! He was, well for one, very attractive, and very romantic! That ring he gave Buffy in season two or three or so was so pretty…” Martin trails off, knowing Jon doesn’t care for the character, and not really wanting to prolong their argument. 

Jon chews on their lip. “Not really my type. Anyway. What  _ else _ did you like about Buffy? It’s a good subject, and w- we’ve got a long drive in front of us.” They sigh, and turn back to Martin.

“Well. Ummm- We can both agree that Riley Finn was super boring, right?”

“Yes. Definitely.” They smile at each other. 

“Hmm..” Martin wracks his brain for another topic. “Favorite season?”

Jon replies instantly: “Season 6.” 

“ _ Oh,  _ so you're one of those!” Martin laughs, staring in disbelief at Jon.   
“Well- you have to agree at least a little bit!”

**20 MINUTES LATER**

\- “Fine. But you have to agree that relationships like that are always weird- I mean like, in Twilight, Edward was like 99 years old while whats-her-name was like 16! That’s still an age that people can live to! While, with Angel and Buffy, Buffy, yeah she’s like 15 when he first falls in love with her, which, is gross, but people don’t really think about it because Angel’s like 300 years old, which, you know,  _ obviously, _ no one can live to that age. It’s kinda i-inconceivable, I guess?” Jon argues, hands sporadically gesturing around. 

**35 MINUTES LATER**

Martin has discovered that the teenager who would furiously debate things on message boards is, in fact, still very much inside him. And, that Jon has some absolute shit opinions on Buffy, with a few exceptions. But, despite the annoyances, it’s a good way to pass the time. 

Jon sighs, changing the subject. “What are you going to London for?” 

“Oh! Thank you for asking. I’m going for teaching. Yeah, um, I majored in children’s education! So, I’m going to try to get a job at a local elementary school. Uh, hopefully that’ll work out. I’ve always wanted to work with kids, heh. I’ve had a lot of training, and well- you know- college is really hard. I’m very glad it’s over.” As he has never been able to fix his nervous habit of rambling (especially when talking about himself, jesus), Martin is about to go on more, before he realizes Jon is staring at him, before curtly nodding, with a “Hrm.” His face warms slightly with embarrassment, but he soldiers on. 

“Uh, What are you going to London for, then?” He tries to sound as interested as possible. He  _ is  _ interested, after all. 

“I, am going to be an archivist.” 

Martin enjoys how decisive they sound, for some reason. Jon continues on, “I majored mainly in Library Sciences.” They bring their hand to their chest, signifying that they are talking about themself. 

“Oh, wow! That’s really cool!” Martin replies, and he does in fact mean it. “Y’know, I went to an archive with this big poetry section a few years back-” 

Jon shakes their head sadly, leaving Martin once again confused. 

“Hm?-” He starts, before Jon replies:

“That’s a travesty. Poetry is useless.”

“What?” Martin scoffs, trying to keep his eyes on the road, ”I- I love poetry.” 

“Poets, they- they are blasphemous. They put so much emotion and- and  _ feeling  _ and 

_ a- aestheticism _ into things that don't have  _ any,  _ and don’t need any. Who even is your favorite poet?” Jon asks, and Martin doesn’t really want to answer. 

“...Keats.”

“Of course.” Jon says knowingly, and it makes Martin want to scream, just a bit. 

“What’s wrong with Keats?”

“Nothing  _ wrong _ , per se. Just don’t like him.”

Martin hates arguments like this, where people don't even give him reasons why they think something, and won’t elaborate on anything. 

He asks again- “Reaally? Nothing specific about him annoys you?” 

“Ah- it’s just his fans in general.” (As Jon says this, Martin holds back some stupid sarcastic remark thanking him. Though he still pulls a face that Jon doesn't notice. He is only so strong.) “So enamored with the dated-ness of his work, the “romance” in death a-and dying? Additionally, the escapist aspect of his poetry never interested me. If any poetry genre would interest me, of course.”

Jon pauses again, then pinches at the bridge of their nose, thinking. “What I’m trying to say is- Poets, no, uh, People who write “ _ poetry _ ”, Jon air-quotes, and Martin grips the steering wheel tighter- “they are always inserting their emotions into things that, really, at the end of the day, don’t need emotions.” Jon leans back into the car seat and crosses their arms, seemingly done with their rant. 

Martin scoffs again, glancing at Jon. “Okay, heh. First of all, you sound like a _ really _ shitty English teacher. Honestly, Jon, I’m pretty sure you just paraphrased someone. ” Jon ignores him, coldly turning their head to stare out the window. “And second of all, you don’t think that’s a good thing? That poets have so much emotion that it must be placed into, seemingly, meaningless things?” Jon continues ignoring him, and Martin lays off. He holds off a comment- ‘This is going to be a long drive.’ He doesn't want to make the...  _ situation _ , if it can be called that, any worse. 

But of course he continues, just as they pull up to the diner. 

“You’ve just never been in love.” Martin replies, matter-of-factly, as he turns the ignition key off. 


	2. not about love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jon and Martin are equally insufferable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii new chapter!! once again uploads r infrequent bc of quarantine n school ofc, but i am trying to write consistently :)
> 
> pronouns for this chapter: everything is same as canon except for jon using they/them! also chapter titles from a fiona apple song

“You’ve just never been in love.” Martin replies, matter-of-factly, as he turns the ignition key off. 

Martin wouldn't be lying if he said Jon’s jaw dropped. Well, first they blankly stared at Martin, processing, but then the eventual jaw drop then, blurting out “Have too! I mean-” Jon steps out of the car on newborn deer’s legs, due to the hours of driving they had endured, both of them too stubborn to pull over and take a break. Martin does the same, waiting with a shit-eating grin on his face. Jon continues sulking as they walk into the brightly lit, old fashioned diner. It’s some family-type place, with 50’s style booths adoring the place, complete with those mini song players, no doubt stocked with “oldies”. 

“ _ Martin. _ ” Jon looks him in the eyes across the sticky table. They finally continue on-

“I have been in love! My hate for poetry- “

Martin interrupts- “More like disdain, or like, repulsion- oooh,  _ abhorrence…”  _

Jon doesn't look impressed. 

“As I was saying, I have been in love. My...hate for poetry is not because of a... lack- of love.”

“Alright then, who was it?” Martin usually isn’t this bold, or confrontational, but he enjoys a good debate, and he’s also pretty sure he’ll never have to see Jon again after this trip, which helps. And he hates when people talk bad about poetry, that too. 

Jon blushes in response, seemingly taken aback. 

“We’ve barely met. Do I really need to tell you my whole backstory?”

“...No, but would you prefer if we ate in silence?”

“Yes. Yes, I actually would.”

The waiter interrupts, asking for their orders abruptly. Martin figures both of them hadn’t even had time to glance at the menu through their bickering. He decides to just order some tea for now. 

“Uh- yes, what types of tea do you have?”

“Earl grey, chai, darjeeling, Black tea, and English Breakfast.”

“Could I please get a decaf chai, with the bag steeped for a bit longer than usual, like a minute or so, and room for milk, or if you put milk in, ¾ of it should be tea, then the fourth would be milk, you know? Oh and- if you don't have decaf chai, could I get a black tea with half milk and 3 spoonfuls of sugar, as well as the bag steeped for a bit less than usual?” 

The waiter looks unamused, and simply notes down “Decaf Chai” in a sloppy cursive on her notepad. She walks away without even noting Jon’s order, but neither notice as they are back to fighting, of course. 

“Jesus, Martin. Why don’t you just go hop behind the counter and make it yourself?” 

“Hey! I’m just very particular about the way I like my tea, alright? And don’t change the subject. Who was it?”

Jon sighs, and Martin thinks they are deciding like ‘Am I really about to do this right now?’

Jon crosses their arms and sighs again, leaning slightly across the table, like anyone in this diner cares about their personal business. 

“Georgie Barker.” 

“...And? You seem to be implying that you aren't in love with them anymore, so, what happened?” 

“Um- we’re still very good friends.” 

“Oh,  _ really? _ ”

“What?! What’s wrong with that?”

“If you were really in love,” Martin says, matter-of-factly, knowing dully that it’s a dick move- “it would hurt too much to still be friends.”

“ _ What?”  _ Jon almost spills the container of assorted creams and sugars, then embarrassedly puts their hands in their lap. They continue on, “You  _ don’t  _ know me. Or, Georgie, for that matter. Me and Georgie are perfectly fine being just friends. I don’t know what mess you got yourself into-” Jon pauses, looking Martin in the eyes, “but me and my-” they flounder around for a word, settling on a very sarcastic intonation of “ _ past love _ , are perfectly capable of being friends despite our mutual parting.” 

“ _ Alright _ \- Alright. Martin saids dumbly, and lets himself and Jon simmer in their own anger while they eat. 

No use to prolong it, as much as he wants to, (but also quietly knows he’ll feel very guilty about it later.) Martin ends up ordering the aforementioned special french toast, which turns out to be sub-par, but he doesn't mention it because he knows Jon would say something. (He also tries this time to tone down his picky-ness while ordering, which goes... decently.) Still, Jon makes a small crack at Martin's ordering habits, asking if he’s enjoying his meal with their voice dripping with sarcasm.    
  
As they eat in silence and eventually finish up their meal, Jon quietly asks- 

“And you?”

“Hm?” Martin looks up from his food. 

“Your... love.”

Martin considers if he is actually going to tell Jon about his first love. It’s something he really doesn’t like to talk about, especially with people he knows won’t understand. But, he reasons that he  _ knows  _ he’ll never see Jon again after this trip, which softens the blow, so he starts telling them. If he ends up dramatizing it a bit... well, he figures it will add to his argument.

“I-it was in my senior year. Uh- He was my best friend, and I was in love with him. Very-  _ stereotypical,  _ I’m aware. I was in love with him...and he wasn’t in love with me, and you know, high school is already very hard  _ without  _ all of that.” He mentally kicks himself- ‘very eloquent, Martin. Really added to your point how you barely get a cohesive, let alone emotional, and or, poetic sentence about this.’ Jon just stares at him again, and Martin is forming a deep hatred for Jon’s eyes on him like that. 

“Okay, well now I get it.” Jon says, nonchalantly. 

“That’s i- What do you mean?”

“You were just projecting! The whole time, it was projection. That is all.” 

“Are you kidding?  _ Ugh. _ I  _ cannot  _ stand you! You know what- I’ll think I’ll take you up on that offer of eating in silence or whatever you said. I bare my soul to you, and this is what I get.” Martin’s voice penetrates the relatively quiet atmosphere of the diner, as he stabs his fork into the last bites of his french toast angrily. 

“...It was  _ barely _ a “baring of the soul.” Jon says quietly. Martin ignores it, scribbling down his signature on the check the waitress hesitantly brought. 

★★★

They drive in an uncomfortable silence for the rest of the trip. Martin spaces out in the passenger seat as Jon drives, humming to themself and sometimes even mumbling about god-knows-what under his breath. It’s infuriating, and Martin thanks god when they finally pull up into what appears to be central London. There’s people everywhere, coming and going from restaurant to office building. He hops out of the car quickly, eager to get out, and notes Jon doing the same on the other side. 

“So- I think we both know this”, they point to themself and Martin, “is not going to work out.” Jon decides as they weakly pull the last of their luggage out of his car. 

“There is  _ not _ a ‘this’.” Martin says petulantly, though he agrees. “It’s too bad though.”

“...Why?”

“You were the only person I knew in this area.”

“Ah. Well- Goodbye.” they say dismissively, before walking away into the lunchtime crowd of London, leaving Martin with his mouth half open, about to wish them Jon a stubborn goodbye. Sighing it off, he steps back into his car and drives off, expecting to never see them again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thx for reading !! as always, kudos and comments are appreciated! reach me on tumblr @ stmontague


	3. a loving feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> martin and jon fatefully meet again.
> 
> (last time skip before the main story starts!!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pronouns: jon uses hy/hym, martin he/him
> 
> content warning: martin in the next few chapters offhand mentions feeling dysphoric about masc terms being used towards him! dude is figuring out his gender, this will be resolved soon i promise :]
> 
> also titles a mitski song bc im nothing if not predictable

**3 YEARS LATER**

Tim had driven him to the airport. It was a simple courtesy, but Martin appreciated it nonetheless. They stood embracing at the gate, Tim whispering sweet nothings to him before the two parted for the month. He was going on a trip for a few weeks to visit his brother, who was on “another one of his trips”, he had said. Apparently, this month’s fixation was rock-climbing. Their relationship was definitely not in the stage where Martin would meet his family yet, and Martin was tied to his own teaching job, so he stayed behind.    
  


His search for a job a few years back had actually gone alright, though balancing it with the care of his mother, and now his relationship with Tim proved to be a challenge at times. Martin had met Tim a few months back at their job. Well, technically, he didn’t actually work there. Martin had befriended his co-worker, Sasha, and through her, he met Tim. He would come by during lunch breaks, and through that the two bonded over gossip (that Sasha had informed Tim really quite well on) and other things. 

Martin really liked Tim, though. He was nice, and funny, and liked to go out and do things that he never had the motivation to do himself. But, also never pressured Martin into anything or made him feel guilty. In summary, Tim didn’t make him feel  _ bad,  _ and that was good enough for him. And the company was nice. Martin just simply pushed down the thought that he couldn't see the relationship lasting like, towards marriage. He was only 23, and it was stupid to be thinking about that now, wasn’t it? 

Martin reaches in to softly kiss Tim, still chaste and shy due to the very public setting. He pulls Martin in, before abruptly stopping, head whipping around, apparently recognizing someone. Did Tim kiss with his eyes open?

His train of thought is momentarily interrupted when Martin turns as well, and sees Jon. He never thought they would see hym again. If Martin’s being honest, his trip with Jon those few years ago had been strictly filed under ‘Things That I Think Of At Night And Get Overly Embarrassed For How I Acted’, which overflowed as the years went by. In summary, he just  _ really _ wasn't expecting this today. 

He note that Jon looks mostly the same, though hy must have gotten a nice job as hy’s dressed head to toe in some sort of Jon-version of business casual. Hy is doned in a long vaguely vintage looking ensemble: a woolen black and white grid-patterned knee-length skirt, and a neatly pressed dark green button-up. It fits hym well (and makes Martin envious. If only he had the - ...no, nevermind.) Hy’s hair is a lot longer than it was... Martin figures about three years ago? And a lot more unruly too. Jon does seem like the type to throw himself into hys work, with the whole archivist spiel and all that.

What he mean is that hy looks...nice, and Martin suddenly feels very underdressed in his own plane-ride wear: a pair of old joggers and a wrinkled old concert shirt for what, at one point, possibly read “AJJ”. His hair must be messy too, from the car ride over at an _ ungodly _ hour of the morning (aka 8 am), Martin notes embarrassedly. 

Tim is already on Jon, pulling hym into a hug. Martin was unaware the two even knew each other. Jon stares at Martin over Tim’s shoulder with a questionable grimace. Martin can’t actually tell if Jon recognizes him, but they can tell he must look familiar to hym. They can practically see the keys turning in hys head. Tim lets go of Jon with a pat on the back. 

“Jonnn-! How have you been?” 

“Fine, Thank you, Tim.” Jon says dully. 

“...Ah- you haven't changed at all!” 

Martin is still standing to the side awkwardly, not dissimilar to when your mother runs into a friend at the grocery store and won’t stop talking. He catches Jon’s eye again, and for a second, the two just stare at each other in vague recognition. Tim looks to both of them-

“Do you guys know each other or something?”

“You could say that, yes.” Jon says.

“...Alright.” Tim replies.

Martin supplies an answer, “I drove him into London after college a few years back.” He decides not to elaborate. “And, how do you two know each other, then?” 

Tim wraps an arm around Jon’s shoulder, and Jon awkwardly slumps into it. 

“College! Hy was in the queer support group, or uh, club with me and Sash, and a few of my classes as well.” Jon nods, agreeing. 

Awkward silence ensues, before Tim breaks and asks-

“So...How's the whole archivist-” Tim pauses for some sort of jazz-hands gesture, “-thing going?”

“Swimmingly.” Jon says, primly. Hy doesn't elaborate either. 

Martin suddenly jolts, checking the time on his phone. “Ah- I’d love to continue this conversation, but I’m pretty sure my planes taking off soon! Gotta go-!” Martin interrupts, and swiftly kisses his boyfriend on the cheek before running off to the terminal.

★★★

He sits patiently in the middle seat of the plane, trying to ignore the screaming baby a few aisles down, as well as the lady with her headphones too loud, and the man who is on a very grating phone call, and the- the list goes on. It’s not a long flight, nothing too bad, but Martin has never been good at sitting still, especially so cramped around other people. He focuses his attention on the computer screen of the person to the side aisle of them, trying to decipher what movie or show they could be watching. He can’t place it, rationalizing that he’ll probably jolt up in bed later that night with the answer. 

Looking around again, just searching for something else to think about. They catch the eye of someone, ducking around the luggage carriers, and… it’s Jon.  _ Of course _ , it’s Jon. Martin stubbornly maintains eye contact with hym, trying to look as threatening as possible (which is a bit impossible for him, especially considering the aforementioned plane gear.) Hy simply stares back, but does a better job of looking grumpy then Martin ever did. 

Martin is deciding whether to awkwardly wave at hym out of politeness, or just have the last word, and turn away, but Jon is out of sight before they can. Figures. He files the...encounter, as a freak accident, and go back to calmly deciphering whatever movie this man could be watching. 

★★★

Nevermind. The universe must be genuinely out for Martin. 

He was on his way out of the London airport, eager to get home to his own bed and sleep for about 20 hours before he had to go back to teacher schedule on Monday. His luggage drags annoyedly behind him, and he walks slowly to the fast stairs thing- whatever you can that. As Martin steps on, someone lightly taps on his shoulder. He whips around quickly, still a bit out of his mind from the plane ride. And once again, of course, it’s Jon. Hys composure seems to have been weakened by the ride as well, his hair is tied up in a messy bun (but not in like, the stylish way), and his shirt seems wrinkled and unruly. Martin duly thinks that it serves hym right. Jon looks around awkwardly, before blurting out:

“You know, I've fallen in love too.” Jon says, a weird mix of pride and sheepish-ness in his tone. Martin is too out of it to deal with this.   
“Alright. Good for you, I guess?” 

“Yes. Good for me.” Jon says, but hy sounds weirdly solemn. Hy nods to Martin and hurriedly walks off the platform. What a strange man. 


	4. waltz (better than fine)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2 YEARS LATER- Melanie, Martin and Gerry have brunch and discuss Martin's romantic prospects, or lack of. Melanie ignores her obvious crush on the girl on her sports team, and Gerry tries to help his two clueless friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello again! heres a new chapter, and this is where the exposition/actual story starts!! so no more time skips, we are on the actual main story now :] 
> 
> pronouns r the same for everyone! + CW: one offhand mention of martin feeling dysphoric about masc terms being used towards him, will be resolved soon

**2 YEARS LATER**

“Sorry I’m late, practice ran longer than I expected.” Melanie sits down with a grunt, probably sore from her weekly roller derby practice. Martin admires her for it, because it seems _way_ too high-pressure for him and, well, violent. “So, Martin, why’d you call this meeting?- Not that we need any specific reason to hang out, of course.”

“It’s not a “meeting”, we’re just simply getting brunch.” Gerry butts in.

Melanie snorts, “Brunch looks so weird coming out of your mouth.” 

He has premium “brunch attire” on, aka a face caked with heavy eyeliner and pale foundation, as well as a stunning ensemble of a long black dress and large (and loud) boots. His hair (that the other two have given up on trying to help with) is fanned out over his shoulders, and awkwardly tucked behind his ears.

“So?” Melanie asks again, and Martin stays quiet again. “C’monnn Martin, just tell us.”

He petulantly stays quiet for another few seconds, then quietly admits “... Me and Tim broke up.” Martin says, looking down at his plate. 

Simultaneously, Melanie exclaims a (half-sarcastic) “What!?” and Gerry, a very unimpressed “Oh. Alright.” Melanie and Martin both turn to Gerry weirdly for a second, before Melanie turns back to Martin.

“Look, I’m not gonna say I wasn’t expecting it-, but what happened?”

“Well. I mean-” Martin sighs, then continues on, “We had a -Serious Talk- recently, and we both realized we couldn't see the relationship going any further, you know? Like. It just wasn't for the long run. I really like Tim, and I know he r-really likes me, but it just w-wasn't going anywhere.” It feels good to tell them, at least. 

Gerry stoically pats his back, and Melanie crosses her arms, thinking. 

“Well then. Are you alright? About all of it, I mean?”

“...Yeah. Y-yeah, I think I am.” Martin says hesitantly. (He isn't). 

“Okay! Well, that’s good!”

“Melanie- he obviously isn't alright. I mean, look at him! He’s all hunched in on himself, and I’m pretty sure he wore that sweater this whole entire week!” Gerry butts in again. 

“Oh- yeah. I was gonna ask you about that.”

“It’s a nice sweater, okay!” He huffs back at them.

With good timing, the waiter brings their food, as Martin had ordered for Melanie, predicting her lateness. They eat silently for a few minutes, until it gets too awkward. 

“Exes are always a hard situation.” Melanie says unprompted. “Like, for real, I went to this party at a friends house a while ago, and was having a nice time, of course, and then, I-I walked into a smaller room- and _BAM_ \- my recent ex, my _second_ most recent ex, and then- I turn my head- my high school crush! It was crazy!” Melanie finishes with a flourish, a piece of omelette about to fly off her fork. 

Martin laughs and scoffs.“I think you’re just making this up to make me feel better.” 

“I would never! I swear… I swear on.. um... Gerry’s fancy rare signed bass guitar!”

“A-Absolutely not! Do you know how much that thing cost me? Like 30 fuckin’ shifts at that Hot Topic down the road!” 

“God, I still can’t believe you did that. Must have been hell. Did people make jokes about the Gerard Keay-Gerard Way thing?” Martin asks. 

“Of-fucking-course they did, Martin. 

“That's totally your fault though, to be fair.” Melanie adds.

“ _Yeah_ , teenager me’s fault! I was way too obsessed with MCR, alright.”

“Yes, yes.” Martin agrees.

“Well. We all have to make money some way, Mr. “~ _Patron Saint to the Children of London~_ ” Blackwood.” Gerry retorts. 

He scoffs, while also trying to tone down the unneeded nausea he feels at the use of “Mr.” Gerry wouldn’t know. No one knows. It’s stupid. He pushes through: “Barely. I’m such a bad teacher, with, ah, discipline and all that. I feel so bad yelling at the kids!” 

Melanie and Gerry both sarcastically ‘ _aww_ ’ at him before going back to eating their food. 

Once she finishes up, Melanie turns to Martin and says “Y’know, Martin, I can always set you up with a nice rebound date. 

“Oh, Melanie, That’s totally not necessary-” Martin starts, but she’s already pulled out her phone, and seems to be scrolling through the contacts. 

“Oh ew, why do I still have her in my contacts...that was so awkward, ugh... oh, another one, I ended up breaking up with them because they were one of those people who just- “doesn't watch movies”? Fuckin’ boring life, if you ask me.” She mumbles, still scrolling through, “Oh! What about Julien?”

“The same Julien who apparently just got “married at 23”, Melanie?” Gerry remarks. Martin stares at Melanie's phone over her shoulder. “Oh...yeah, I’m _pretty_ sure my invitation card for his wedding is currently pinned on my fridge.”

“Hm?” She stares at the icon on her cracked phone screen. “Oh...Him. Yeah.” She non-discreetly types something into the contact info, and Martin prays it isn't “note: married” or something like that. 

Melanie pulls up another image.

Martin pulls a hand over his face long-sufferingly. “ _Melanieee_ \- I’m literally gay.”

“Oh. Oh! Right, yeah sorry.”

“Jesus, how bad did you hit your head at practice today to forget Martin’s...gayness?” Gerry says jokingly.

“I did _not._ We both know I am an absolute PRO at derby!” She laughs. _“_ I don't have that many options here, alright, you guys know you're the only men I tolerate.” Martin laughs, but his gut repeats that he is not a man. He pushes it down once more. 

“ _Anyway-_ I’m just looking to date right now! Alright! And that’s fine!” Melanie and Gerry both stare at him knowingly.

“What?! Is that not fine?”

“Oh, well, first off, it’s totally a lie.” Melanie says as Martin sputters. 

“Martin. We both know you.” Gerry says, gesturing to himself and Melanie, who has her arms crossed with a uptight expression on her face. “We both know that when you’re lonely, you get like- _really_ lonely. Hm- that’s not very eloquent. What I’m trying to say is-

Martin stops him. “N-No, I get it. I do tend to get- I don’t know, a lot more depressed…yeah. But I have you guys, right?” Martin says sadly, trying to smile at the end.

“Not really the same thing, Martin. But yes, if you do go into a massive depressive slump and, I don’t know, go on a massive tea-binge or something, Me and Gerry will most definitely try to help you.” Melanie says. Martin smiles, reassured before she starts again-

“ _But-_ We are trying to prevent it happening entirely! With the whole rebound thing! And! Never forget when my friend, Riley said that too!” Melanie says, then intones mockingly- “‘Oh, I’ll be fine without a partner! Don’t worry about lil’ old me!’ then, boom! Dead a month later! A freak bus accident or something!” 

“Martin, you do take the bus a lot. Gotta stay alert.” Gerry says, taking a swig of his coffee. 

“Oh. My. _God_. Melanie, I’m not gonna die soon! I’m not even 30 yet!” Martin exclaims. “Plus! You work in the ghost biz, and, well, not to be morbid, but there must be a higher chance of dying on the job, isn't there?”

“She wasn't ‘on-the-job! Are you saying that the bus was haunted or something? That she was cursed?”

“Wh- No? Melanie, I’m just trying to say that I’m gonna be fine. I am going, _to be fine_. He repeats. 

“Alright, alright. I just want you to find a good guy to settle down with, alright?” 

“Yes, yes, thank you both.” Martin holds up his tea with a toast. 

★★★

  
After brunch, he and Melanie decided to go walk to Martin’s favorite bookshop in order to cheer him up, which was an actually good suggestion from Gerry. Plus, Gerry wanted some of the fancy french candy the owner keeps at the cashier. Small Favors. Martin doesn’t mind, obviously, because he loves a good trip to the bookstore. 

He ponders his own mental list of books to read that he could buy at the shop as the pair walk to their destination, making meaningless small talk. He’d already bought the latest poetry anthology from one of his favorite authors recently, as well as a remastered version of Pride and Prejudice, but due to the breakup, Martin figures he can treat himself a bit, his mothers nagging voice in the back of his head be damned. 

“So! On the topic of relationships…” Martin trails off coyly. Melanie groans.

“Yes, Martin?” She sighs. 

“Oh you know… Didn’t you mention a cute girl in your derby team...like 10 times?”

Melanie crosses her arms. “Yes. You _know_ her name, Martin.”

“Georgie, was it?”

“Yeah.” Melanie says a bit dreamily. “But- You haven't even met her! She’s _ruthless_ on the track, totally unafraid of well...like, anything. It’s intimidating!”

“And she’s pretty, too?”

“Yes. She’s very pretty.”

“So take your own advice! Go ask her out!”

Melanie groans again. “She probably already has a partner.”

“There’s no harm in asking.”

“There absolutely is. I don’t want it to be all weird between us if she says no! Once again, she could totally crush me!”

“I’ll just sic Gerry on her. He’s super buff, isn't he?” Martins laughs and Melanie does too, the two of them snickering about it as they walk into the bookstore. 

Currently, Melanie stands awkwardly at Martin’s side, trailing behind him with nothing better to do. She’s never had much patience for reading, she had told him, (though Martin still gets her books for her birthday once in a while.) The sound of her platform boots shuffling echos loudly throughout the quiet atmosphere of the place, though Martin is engrossed, rapidly searching the shelves for the correct book. She nudges Martin in the shoulder suddenly, making him jump from the calm state he was in while browsing books, luckily not holding anything. 

“Martin-, Martin!” Melanie loudly whispers, like startling him half to death wasn't enough.

“What is it?!”

“That dude’s staring at you, do you know them?” She points unkindly at someone in the distance, and Martin curses his shit eyesight as he begrudgingly pulls out his glasses from his bag. Melanie looks at him expectantly as he cleans them on his shirt. “Okay, Okay, I’m about to look. They probably just... I don’t know, saw a friend out the window or something.” Melanie bites back a remark about how there is most definitely not a window behind them. He finally turns to see however Melanie was talking about, trying to catch their eye again. Someone turns around, and-

“Oh, For Christ’s sake.” Martin sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! i keep messing up the posting times so shares, kudos and comments are very appreciated! 
> 
> also . the sheer lesbianism of having a crush on a girl on your roller derby team.. i love u melanie <3 also dw i love martim but you know. plot has to move

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed, and as always, kudos and comments r appreciated! next chapter will be out soon :) (though i am also a minor in high school in the middle of a pandemic so. yk) also you can reach me on tumblr @ stmontague 
> 
> also heres martins shirt LOL : https://www.pinterest.com/pin/860328335050392892/


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